So as being a writer, everything becomes writing material. I decided to make my COVID quarantine a blog as many people are curious about how this feels. Which is the widespread consensus on the fear that people have of this pandemic, seeming to be that the majority gain denial and resentment. As many rationalize with themselves, either avoid me altogether or disregard the whole diagnosis to begin with. It for sure had painted a picture of who in fact is someone who genuinely cares for me and someone who doesn’t. Which in the end is a blessing in disguise. As truth is, someone who doesn’t have control of their personal feelings are more prone to being an ingenue human being.
So my body said “sike” on the stomach symptoms as they came back. In addition to that, I’m lying in bed with the heater on to avoid hyperthermia. Since these chills seem to come when it’s 81 degrees outside in San Antonio, TX. The body aches aren’t as bad, but enough to have me swipe text the blog post on the update of having COVID.
The headache that I had, in the beginning, has been super mild, tolerable as it just feels like a mild migraine, compared to before where it felt like I had my head being drilled by four jackhammers. Still, not having an appetite. I’m going to have to force myself to eat to get proper nourishment so I can fight this mother fucker.
It’s only been four days, but it feels longer, maybe because of the anxiety it’s causing about if I’m going to infect others in the household. Where the rationalizing about if “I’m going to die, I’m going to die” becomes rationalization from the regret and guilt that comes from putting me in a compromising position. On the plus side, it’s giving me the rest I much needed. Having a complete desire to write and smoke a joint, it becomes difficult to type due to aches extending to my fingertips and toes.
The one obvious thing is those who say it was a hoax created by the government have avoided me altogether, as me having the Delta variant has them forced with facing the truth. A natural reaction in human nature’s defense mechanisms. I don’t take it personally because it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with them, which makes me wonder what’s going on in their mind as they continue to do the wild things they did, which psychology says that in rationalizing, people will always try to convince themselves as to why they are exempted from the rule. Maybe it’s entitlement and fear. Or perhaps it’s just carelessness and a lack of self-love. But my only hope as this Delta variant gets worst. That they don’t catch this as I don’t wish this upon anyone—even my worst enemy.
Frieda The Writer 